Amirah

I am seriously beginning to question my sanity. At present I am sitting up in bed in the middle of the night because I can’t sleep because I’m terribly heartbroken over the loss of my cat. Amirah. She left me almost exactly a year ago. I sent her off to live with a nice family because I was coming overseas. Then three months turned in to a year.

I miss her a lot. I was cuddling my hot water bottle (winter is blowing a cool crisp gale through the slit in my window) and it reminded me of how she would curl her furry little body next to my belly for warmth at night after nosing her way under the blankets. And then , once sufficiently warmed, she would unfurl. Purring. Needing my stomach to push me onto the cold side as she lolled happily in the body heat I’d left behind. I miss her. But she’s living with a wonderful family. She has a friend (Rage). Her very own bathstool so she can play in the water. She’s outdoors. No doubt harassing the birds she could never get at though the flywire. Climbing trees. Digging up the gardens of unsuspecting neighbours. Stealing Rage’s food and battling for his share of the attention. She was a wonderful, beautiful, amazing little girl.

My God I am possibly certifiably insane! I have an excuse (many actually should you care to listen)... I’m hitting the one year wall. 2 weeks, 3 months, 6 months...the one year wall. Been here before. Not enjoying it this time round either. Funny I’m not in the slightest bothered about XH, just Amirah. I always said I cried more at the loss of my cats than XH. Funny that – guess there just wasn’t much to cry over in the end.

Playing the “nothing affects me” role at the moment – brave faces and all – quite convincingly if I may say so myself. Now I just have to work out what to do with my life.

The one year wall...

Ya Allah, take me to Palestine.